Heart of the Beast
by TaloneNailonodel
Summary: My first fanfic, Mad scientist and BCPU's. A few characters based off characters from my friend MariusKhushrenada's fanfic Serenity. Only seed character is Stellar very little
1. Chapter 1

_I do not own Mobile Suit gundam, or any of its sister series'. This is just a story of my imagination so please don't sue._

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Prologue

A flash of light, a burning sensation, pain, and then relief. And now, I guess, its all over. This is partially my fault, I suppose. Up until this moment I've always wondered if I truly was wrong in doing those things I did all those years ago, I suppose it doesn't matter now, does it?  
Though I did not then,I do regret my past actions. Perhaps if I had met some of the people I know now I may have stopped what I was doing and some of the horrible incidents that have taken place in the recent wars would not have happened. These people did not ask questions of me when I came to them begging passage on their ship and I am truly glad for this fact. For I could not begin to tell my story in such a way that would put me in a favourable light. Working on this ship is a direct result of those studies, that research I performed. I remember the entire story quite vividly. What I did back on Earth caused me to have to flee the planet. If you knew of the things I've done you would most likely label me a monster, a selfish animal who only cares for himself and his own goals. If I were seen in one of the many nations in which I am a wanted man, I could be killed on the spot. I am accused, and guilty I suppose, of "crimes against humanity"  
I have nothing to say in my defence, I was wrong, and your allegations toward my monstrous nation would probably not be incorrect. But please at least listen to my story, can not even a monster redeem past wrongdoings? I may be a creature of incalculable evil, but I beg of anyone who hears me now, listen to my words before you damn me completely.

To those of you who wish to keep listening I thank you for the pardon you have granted my soul. Though some parts of this story may seem awful and at times you may wish to quit but again I beg you, finish my story and I shall forever be in your debt.  
My name is Cyril Loussier and the story you are about to hear is a twisted and tragic one. But if I am truly to live out the rest of eternity in the depths of hell, then I would prefer that someone left on this planet knows my story.

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_please review_  



	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 1 up and ready_

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Chapter 1-The Cost of Success

My childhood is as tedious as it was inconsequential. Suffice it to say that I did well enough in my studies to gain scholarships and enrol in one of Earth's top medical schools. My story truly begins during my university years, with two specific events.  
It was in my university years that my medical genius was first noticed by earth government. And more specifically, I was noticed by Blue Cosmos. My grades were some of the highest in decades, and this was cause for attention. I was contacted and told that I would be guaranteed a high-paying, government funded job. The sole conditions on this promise were that I must keep my grades at the exceptional level they were at, and that I must keep the promise secret even from my family. At first I was quite curious what kind of job this was, but realized that this was the kind of opportunity that only came along once in a lifetime. I tossed aside my curiosity as simple paranoia.  
The other event that took place was a far more tragic state of affairs. I met a young woman attending the same school I had been. Her name was Rayne, and this case truly was love at first sight. I arrived at one of my classes slightly later than normal, and was forced to take a seat far from my usual place in the classroom. I sat down next to her, before now I had never really cared much for women, but it was different with her. She started a conversation, and we chatted pleasantly for the remainder of the class. We continued our discussion throughout the day and before I knew it, it was late evening, we exchanged e-mail and promised to see each other another time.  
We did stay in touch, throughout the rest of university. We eventually grew closer, once we were out of university we began plans for a wedding. I was once more contacted by Blue Cosmos, and after our wedding we were relocated to an indesclosable location.  
Looking back on this I can truly say I was happy. I had a beautiful intelligent wife, whom I loved very deeply. I had a high paying job which, although I was a bit worried going into it, I was looking forward to. I had believed that things would be great for the rest of my life, and yes, for a time they were. Of course, all things must balance, all eras must come to an end. My time of happiness would end soon enough, and I would wonder were those days of cheer had gone. Years after our wedding, after my research began, things began to deteriorate between Rayne and myself. She had become cold, more irritable, I had no idea why. She claimed it to be because I was rarely home anymore. I would leave early in the morning, and not return until late at night. I got very little sleep, many times I would lose myself in my research and would work through the night. Other times I would come home but would not be able to get my mind away from the lab. I became entirely obsessed with my work, and could rarely think of anything else. I became detached and would rarely speak anymore. The true problem with my work was not my difficulty letting go of the lab each day it was my amazement, shock really, at what I was doing. I mean it all seemed like a dream. What I was being paid to study, to create. And by Blue Cosmos no less, those who hated and feared the coordinators. All these problems, however, made an unexpected shift toward the bottom of the list of thing I was worried about. One night I can remember an especially enraged battle between Rayne and I. "…ril! Cyril! Are you paying any attention at all to what I'm saying?" This was commonplace in recent weeks "Oh! I'm so sorry, I guess I was day-dreaming a bit!" Another common response.  
"Day-dreaming? That's all you ever seem to do anymore is day-dream. I swear it doesn't matter if your sitting at the table eating, or lying in bed, your mind is always back at that lab! I'm sick of it! …Cyril!" I was growing rather sick of her complaining.  
"Oh! What! I'm terribly sorry, please forgive me, today just has not been a good day. Are you through?" I truly was foolish back then.  
"Dear, I'm honestly worried about you, you hardly sleep, and when you do you look more tired when you wake up than before you went to bed, you eat so little, and your mind is always somewhere else." When she said this she looked up sympathetically at me with those brown eyes, I'll never forget that look.  
"Look, I'll worry about my own health, thank you for your concern. Besides, what business is it of yours if I'm thinking of my work while I'm at home?" I said this slightly more viciously than I had intended.  
She looked hurt, but kept from getting angry. "It's more than that, you seem miles away, haven't spoken in weeks, maybe even months, other than arguing. This isn't the kind of house I want our child growing up in." I was taken quite aback with this statement.  
"What"  
There was no response, she just looked up at me. She was crying.  
"Are you…?" And she slowly began to nod, "Oh I'm so sorry, I'm so very sorry," we held each other for a very long time, I was honestly afraid to let go. I repeated my apology more times than I care to count. We were both crying, now. I don't know how long we stood there in silence. I only know that it was probably the last happy moment I experienced in a long time.


End file.
